Taking all the feedback we had received from the previous two weeks into account, we decided to keep things a bit simpler. No plane crash, no life of crime, no Galapagos. We liked the idea of a car crash and Jacques’s father dying as a results of the crash. We didn’t go back to the drawing board completely but we did need to make a few drastic changes to make out story more believable and realistic.

Our character’s name would still be Jacques O Brien, he was still 17 and he was still part French and part Irish. Part of the back story was that he live in Dublin with his Father and his Father had always told him that his Mother died when he was very young. His Father was driving Jacques somewhere and then they had a car crash. Jacques would wake up from a coma in hospital a month later and would have amnesia and would have to piece his life back together from the bag he had with him the day of the crash. The bag would then be his cabinet. He would find out that his Mother was still alive and had been living in France and then he would go out to France looking for her or she would come to Ireland to look after him after the crash.

The feedback that we got from this was:
1. Why would he have a bag with him?
2. They would’ve identified Jacques at the hospital so they would have already called his next of kin to look after him afterwards.
3.Would it be better to have the character as a hitch hiker? And maybe he had some sort of relation to the driver that died in the crash?
4. If the accident is symbolic then put more emphasis on it.
5. The story needs to have more focus.

We have a lot to discuss and talk about after that feedback. We need to solidify our ideas and cover all the plot holes that we have. We met during the week and came up with, what we thought was a solid idea.

Jacques O’ Brien is a 17 year old boy that lives in Dublin with his Father, Glen. His father had always told Jacques that his mother, Delphine, had died when he was very young but the reality was that she couldn’t hack being a mother, Delphine had depression after she gave birth to Jacques and as a result she left her husband and newly born son to move to France where her mother lived. Delphine was still in contact with Glen and he would send her photos of Jacques. When Jacques was about 15 he had a surfing accident and hurt his leg and a girl called Becks helped him and calmed him down. Jacques and Becks then became close friends and then they fell in love. Jacques aunty, Glen’s sister, was a mother figure to Jacques his whole life and Jacques and his father would go to his aunty’s house at least once a week to have dinner.  One night, they were on their way to her house when Glen crashed the car; Glen died and Jacques was badly hurt and when he was rushed to hospital he slipped into a coma. Jacques next of kin was called, which was his aunty. A few weeks had past and Jacques was still in a coma but he was getting better. When Jacques came out the coma he had amnesia and couldn’t remember certain things. This is where his wallet, which was his cabinet, came into play. Inside he would find: train tickets, driver’s licence, a picture of him and his girlfriend (Becks), bank cards, a guitar plectrum and money. With the help of his wallet, his aunty and Becks he was able to remember some parts of his life but not all he  still couldn’t remember Becks or the affection he once had for her. While he was going through his father’s possessions with his aunty he found letters from his mother addressed to his father, it was then that Jacques found out that his mother was still alive and living in France. Jacques found his mother’s address from one of the letters she sent to Jacques father and planned to go there to finally meet her. His girlfriend ould go with Jacques to meet his mother because she wanted to help him and be there for him, even though he doesn’t remember her. They arrive and Jacques meets his mother for the first time and their meeting is emotional for them both and for Becks. Jacques’ mother explains everything and shows him all the things that his father had been send her over the years. On the way back to the UK Jacques and Becks were getting off the plane when Jacques falls over and Becks goes to help him, it is then that he remembers who she is and how much he loves her.

  1. December 2nd, 2011

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